루체테어학원광명하안캠퍼스
이지윤
제출일 : 2025-01-16 09:38:27
ESSAY TITLE : 주말 음악회에 가요
Student's Writing
What are you going to do this weekend?
If you like music it's better to go music concert this Saturday.
Korea's orchestra is going to held free outside music concert at PM. 3 o'clock.
This program has classical music, pop music and 민요.
The weather is good so I hope you can enjoy music concert.
If you like music it's better to go music concert this Saturday.
Korea's orchestra is going to held free outside music concert at PM. 3 o'clock.
This program has classical music, pop music and 민요.
The weather is good so I hope you can enjoy music concert.
Teacher's Comment
What are you going to do this weekend?
If you like music, you'd better go to a concert this Saturday.
- you'd better 이 더 적합한 표현
- 셀 수 있는 명사(concert)
The Korean Orchestra is having a free open-air concert at 3 p.m.
- is going to held → is going to hold 또는 is holding
- held는 과거형이므로 "is going to hold"가 맞지만 현재진행형을 사용하는 것이 더 자연스러움
The program is filled with classical music, pop songs, and folk songs.
- is filled with를 쓰는 게 더 자연스러운 표현
- 민요 = folk song
I hope the weather will be fine and you can enjoy it.
- 미래 날씨에 대한 희망을 표현할 때는 "I hope the weather will be fine."이 더 적절
- music concert는 대명사인 it을 쓰는 게 더 자연스러움